Masturbation is a big topic for my clients. Whether to do or not to do? How much or how little? Then the judgement begins to creep in (more for women than men) whether they are good or bad because of regularity or irregularity? Whether to continue after they are in a relationship or not?
I really wonder where these judgements begin? When does everyone begin to masturbate? Who’s voice is telling them they are good or bad? Men start to touch them selves at an early age when they are potty trained and earlier. Women are not given the ok to touch their clitoris and vagina when they are potty trained and their stigmas (here is a wonderful article from the Huffington Post) that are attached to the wanting of self pleasuring. Imagine if women could stroke their clitoris’ every time they went to the bathroom? They’d be so much more familiar with they’re our bodies starting at a much earlier age. And not just monthly once they hit the age of menstruation and that stigma hits. Because let’s be honest when we finally got our period it wasn’t this momentous occasion that everyone made it out to be. It was just a moment in time. And some woman don’t become familiar with their body even then…
Masturbation is an amazing self soothing, self gratify and a wonderful way to know what pleases us so that we are able to express to our partner just that. Because how can they know what pleases us until we know what pleases us? Your partner knows what pleases them when they touch you but How great would it be to be able to tell them what you love so that they can take pleasure in that as well. It’s a win-win!!
When it comes to masturbation however you arrive at your climax is your way and to let go of judgement is the first step. If toys are needed then Talley-Ho!! If it is simply a hand then take time to explore… If it is toys then I happen to love a NYC based and on-line store called Babeland. But there will be another post about toys in the bedroom anon!
Love and Pink Light