Sarah hamilton's Blog

This is where you'll find my musings on Gratitude, Inspiration, Stillness and Awe…. "Transform your thoughts, transform your life"

The language We Use November 8, 2012

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I was reminded of this post last night so I wanted to share it again….

I regularly post on Facebook and Twitter about language. My strongest coaching tool is helping my clients become aware of their self talk.   As we all know language has power and how we talk to ourselves can make or break our self-esteem.  That said, here is a list of words to become aware of in your speech.

Should:  The best thing to say about this one is, “Don’t should on yourself” When the word is used there usually is obligation places on the act on which you feel the need to follow through. Now here is a tough one… Only do the things that you want to do.  For example “I should go to work.”  Sure work is not necessarily great everyday but we want to make money to pay our bills.  Hence you want to make money so you go to work.  We get something out of everything that we do so I invite you to look at your motives and find the want in what you’re doing.  Then once you can find your want versus your should you are able to remove the obligation and guilt that comes along with the should.

Need: Listen to how often you use the word need…  When we need something we do not approach it with the same energetic strength that we would had we approached it with a want.  Again with the want 😉 We follow through with our goals when they are a want versus a need. Our obstacles block us when obligation strikes us. Look again…

But: ” I wanted to go swimming today but it was rainy and I thought twice about it.”  When you use the word but in a sentence you negate what is initially said.  So by looking at the sentence you really did not want to go swimming because it rained and you changed your mind.  In a sentence like this the but is really quite innocuous.  Though when used in a sentence like. “I thought your show was fantastic but in the second act…..” So you really didn’t think the show was fantastic. I simply invite you to look at what and how you are speaking to yourself and others.  Do you want your anabolic phrases to land on their own merit or would you rather land on the down note.

Can and Can’t: These 2 words are simple.  You are saying I choose to and I don’t choose to.  Now sometimes we are physically unable to do things and if we were able to choose we would. Like say for instance fly on our own accord. That said if you are, let’s say invited to a party it is completely ok to say you are unable to go due to a prior engagement but (and yes I just used the word but on purpose) if you can’t? No.  You are choosing to go to your prior engagement. Everything you do in life is a choice.  Be empowered with your thinking and choose how you respond.  Be the cause of your life not at the effect of it.

Again back to the shoulds, needs, can’ts and buts…. How do you want to approach life? Empowered and anabolic? To quote one of my favorite children’s poets Shel Silverstein:

 

“Listen to the MUSTN’TS, child.

Listen to the DON’TS.

Listen to the SHOULDN’TS,

the IMPOSSIBLES, the WON’TS.

Listen to the NEVER HAVES,

then listen close to me…

Anything can happen, child.

ANYTHING can be.” 

 

Listen to how you think….

Energetically,

~Sarah

 

His Holiness the Dalai Lama’s visit to Danbury Connecticut October 20, 2012

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This thursday and Friday His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama spoke at Westerner Connecticut State University in Danbury CT in conjunction with the Tibetan Center in Redding Ct, Do Ngak Kunphen Ling or DNKL. It was a remarkable couple of days.  I had received my tickets and was raring to go but then I came down with the creeping crud and felt that it wouldn’t be fair of me to go and sneeze and cough over everyone.  So I was given the opportunity to give my tickets to my boyfriends parents! Lucky for me pictures were sent all along the way.

Although disappointed that I couldn’t attend I was pleased to be able to share this with people who haven’t had the opportunity to experience the His Holiness speak before.  So Of Course I was glued to my laptop with tissues and water in hand to view the live stream.  It’s supposed to be up on youtube and when I can find it 🙂 I will have it for you.  But here is a wonderful article with his complete lecture on thursday about compassion.  Here is an excerpt from the article:

 

“My fundamental belief is that we are all the same as human beings. We don’t need an introduction when we meet because we are mentally, physically, emotionally the same. I find this is a very helpful way of thinking. Whether I’m speaking to 1000 people or 100,000, there are no barriers between us.”

His Holiness explained that when there are no barriers there’s room for trust. Trust is the basis of friendship. On a global level the time has come to develop a strong sense of the oneness of humanity. Then there will be no room for exploitation, cheating or bullying. If others are successful, be happy. Otherwise, if we a jealous, that leads to mistrust, which leads to fear and suspicion and ultimately loneliness.

His Holiness the Dalai Lama speaking at Western Connecticut State University’s O’Neill Center in Danbury, CT, on October 18, 2012. Photo/WCSU

Everyone wants to lead a peaceful life, but a peaceful society does not evolve only from economic development, it comes about as a result of inner peace in the hearts of individuals. How can we develop such inner peace? Through prayer? His Holiness said that of course prayer has its place, but he feels a need to take action instead.”

 

As soon as I can find the 2 lectures I will post them! It was a remarkable couple of days!

 

 

Being Alone… October 7, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — sarahhamiltoncoaching @ 10:27 AM
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In the past few weeks the topic of being “alone” has been a big one!  There is a difference from being alone vs. lonely.  We all have moments through out our lives when we feel lonely but alone is very different matter. I’ve been known to say, “You can’t find the love of your life until you become the love of your life.” If we feel alone and do everything we can to avoid our own company we won’t be very good company for someone else.  And in turn if you are entering a relationship so that you don’t have to be alone then you are not at your optimal….  Which is 2 people coming together at their greatest so that they can grow together.  Because of this I am re-posting a blog post from 2010.

Here is a video that has recently gone viral on Facebook. I immediately feel in love with it!!!!! When I started to listen to it I recognized the voice as Tanya Davis’ who also created another über favorite of mine “ART”….. Take a look-see.

 

 

Lots of Love!

~S

 

I Want it NOW Daddy! October 1, 2012

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This post created some great discussion so I thought I’d post it again… Enjoy!

 

I’m sure you all have heard the line,”I want it now, Daddy!” from the famous Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory’s colorful character, Veruca Salt…

Often times when reaching for a goal be it personal, spiritual or work related we all get a little impatient when waiting for results.  This impatience can inform us as to where we are in relation to our goal or it simply could be Veruca rearing her ugly head…

If we have faith that it, the goal will arrive and you are doing all the steps necessary, (playing full-out as in last weeks post) then place an order with the waiter and trust that it’ll show up.  You know how when you’re at a restaurant and you place an order with the waiter, you trust that it’ll be on your table within a certain amount of time.  Going after your goal is a bit like that.  Doing the work then trusting in the out coming. I mean hey, we all can get impatient about when the out come arrives… But that is usually due to not truly trusting that it will arrive so by having it arrive now! you know you’re not walking down the wrong alley. And it could be that you simply want the fruits of your labor now… No matter what it all boils down to trust.

I have written before that life, a relationship and/or a goal have no finish line if it’s in alignment with who you are. And if a job or goal doesn’t transpire it’s the beginning of something else so in reality there is no end.  Think more about that and wanting it  now! may abate a bit…

Or just start signing… It helped Veruca!

Energetically,

~Sarah

 

Native Wisdom… September 23, 2012

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One of the greatest gifts we have been given is the one of free will.  The freedom to chose any direction we want! I coach a lot about choice.  Where do you want to go from here? If you don’t like how you feel make a different choice… What’s another way of looking at your situation?

This “Native Wisdom” was sent to me awhile ago from my dear friend Reverend Mark Delcuze.  And then I was reminded again from another remarkable coach, Tara Roth! I believe that things show up for a reason… so Obviously this is something I need to hear.  I hope you enjoy it as much!!

Native Wisdom: A Grandfather from the Cherokee Nation was talking with his grandson.

“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.”
“One wolf is evil and ugly: He is anger, envy, war, greed, self-pity, sorrow, regret, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, selfishness and arrogance.”
“The other wolf is beautiful and good: He is friendly, joyful, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, justice, fairness, empathy, generosity, true, compassion, gratitude, and deep vision.”
“This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other human as well.”
The grandson paused in deep reflection because of what his grandfather had just said. Then he finally cried out; “Oyee! Grandfather, which wolf will win?”
The elder Cherokee replied, “The one you feed.”

Energetically~

~Sarah

 

Being Thankful… September 21, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — sarahhamiltoncoaching @ 10:36 AM
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My summer view!

 

I wrote the following except during the summer but never posted it.  On the first day of Autumn when the world (or at least my part of the world) begins to forage for the coming months and things begin to slow down I cherish the warmth of summer. How do you enjoy the seasons and time as the weather changes…. What does it mean to you?

“Every now and then I have a day that is simply divine and I do mean divine.  You know the kind of day that takes your breath away.  I have spent the last 48 hours sitting in the sun, swimming, eating amazing food, playing with my boyfriends daughter (a gift in and of itself), driving gorgeous roads and playing with my boyfriend too.  The sound track was also just as spectacular: birds, frogs, roosters, frogs jumping in the pool, woodpeckers, birds flying by to take a dip in the pool, bumble-bees and dragon flies.  Did I mention frogs? All of this was a visual feast as well… I have 2 words for you: Humming birds!

All this said it comes down to that I’m so thankful for such an absolutely amazing couple of days that were shared with me.”

 

My summer was spectacular so I’m looking forward to what life will bring in the coming months!

 

Energetically,

~Sarah

 

 

The Most Important Part of a Conversation September 12, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — sarahhamiltoncoaching @ 9:16 AM
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I was chatting with a friend this morning about something I tweeted the other day, “The only thing one has to do in a conversation is listen.” He disagreed.  Which led me to ask why and we talked.  His belief is that it is important, by not the Only thing or there would be no exchange of ideas.  Which is very true.  So I was led to clarify myself…. Listening is the most important part of a conversation.

There is an expression that we have 2 eyes, 2 ears and 1 mouth so we can use our ears twice as much as our mouth.  As a life coach we are taught to listen.  Hearing what and how our clients are talking.  We hear what they are saying not what we think they are saying.  I have learned that there are 3 levels of listening. Subjective, Objective and Intuitive:

Level 1) Subjective listening

Listening is based on the agenda of needs of the listener.  Whatever is said is related back to the listener.

Client: “I had the toughest time trying to get myself up a half hour earlier to take my morning walk.”
Coach: (Answering based on how the coach would handle the situation) “You just have to force yourself.  When I have something to do that I don’t want to do I just remember the Nike commercial, ‘Just do it’”

Level 2) Objective Listening

The listener is completely focused on the person who is speaking.  There are no thoughts about how any of the information relates personally to the listener.  This level is very effective but doesn’t get to the heart of the matter.

Client: “I had the toughest time trying to get myself up a half hour earlier to take my morning walk.”
Coach: You had a struggle but you made it. Congratulations!

Level 3) Intuitive Listening

The listener is listening to all sensory components and intuitively connecting to the speaker’s real message.  The listener is paying attention to not only what the speaker is saying but also to the speaker’s tone of voice, energy level, feelings, etc.  The listener is also paying attention to what is NOT being said.  This is the most powerful form of listening and allows the listener to really connect with the speaker.

Client: “I had the toughest time trying to get myself up a half hour earlier to take my morning walk.”
Coach: (Answers after feeling, without much thinking.)  It sounds like you really want to do this, but are so exhausted that you find it to be very challenging and maybe even a little frustrating.

I have learned that the most effective kind of listening is a combination of levels 2 and 3, mixed with effective open-ended questions.  So use your ears and eyes to hear what the person is saying and how the person is speaking.   It can open up a whole new world when  you actually hear someone and not what you think you are hearing. So again…. Listening is the Most important part of a conversati0n.

Energetically,

~Sarah

 

Deer Caught in the Headlights September 1, 2012

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It seems that there’s a new show out that’s a spin-off of “Toddlers and Tiara’s” named “Honey Boo Boo” named for the child in it.  I have to say from the get go that I have never watched them.  Show’s like “Jersey Shore” (I’ve also never seen) and these I believe are simply showing the country at its worst.  I don’t disagree that there are people out there like this but why do we have to glorify it? Watching these shows to me seems like deer caught in the head lights who can’t turn away… but we have choice the one consistent topic I have.  We can watch something else or simply turn off the television. What about reading a book?  I even had “Honey Boo Boo and Reality Television” as the title but  changed it because I didn’t want to add to its internet presence.  The most unhealthy thing about this is that there are people who watch it and chose to emulate it. So tell me why are these shows even out there?  I know that they started years ago when there was a writer’s strike and the time needed to be filled and they chose “Big Brother” to launch it all but the shows with these young children is sheer child abuse and bullying as we laugh at it. Where are the children being protected?

 

I don’t tend to use my blog for this kind of discussion around harm but the energy that this kind of television creates is terribly unhealthy.  Why would we watch it when there is so much else out there that is healthy and beautiful.  That which we focus on is magnified… So why not chose to focus on something that is Joyful and loving… So next time you turn on the T.V. ask yourself: How loving is this?  How educational is this?  Am I receiving joy?  Better yet How loving and I being?

 

Energetically,

~Sarah

 

What a move can do… August 17, 2012

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I moved out of NYC a few weeks ago and now everything is either unpacked or put into storage… My move was quiet smooth as far as moves go… Now it’s nose to the proverbial grind stone.  That said I’ve had so many mixed emotions since I have left.  On one hand I have definitely doubted my choice which for me is very rare.  Once I make a decision I have made it. No doubts.  On the other bigger hand I have Loved my new world.  This move involved the biggest heart expanding of all (moving closer to the man who I Love)… I’ve been a little scared.  In the past all my choices and decisions have all been for and about me.  No one else was involved. I know that sounds selfish but being single has allowed me that luxury.  But not this time… Someone else is very much involved.  So I’ve been more aware of ways of keeping peace and simply allowing as my center goal.  I walk a lot and meditate a lot and ride my bike a lot, which I did today saying “Good Morning” joyfully to all my neighbors and running errands!! This is a reminder that though we have absolute choice over everything we think and feel not everything is about us :-).  Allowing for love and communication between two people who love each other is one of the largest growing experiences for a person to have.  I knew that I had done a Lot of work to get to where I was and that I wanted to grow more by being involved with another who had done the same because the growth opportunity would be endless.  I chose Love not fear…

As I say to my clients,”How does taffy become yummy?…. All the pulling and yanking”.  Hence we are like that taffy. The choices we make about our feelings and situations make us into what we are.  And we know that it isn’t always that comfortable. So I know I want to be as yummy as possible…

So bring on the taffy pull!

 

Energetically!

~Sarah

 

What To Do When All Your Efforts Seem To Fail… June 27, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — sarahhamiltoncoaching @ 12:24 PM
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Now that I think about it, it depends on how you view failure…. I believe that there isn’t such a thing as failure.  I don’t want to place the judgement on the “thing” that happened as good or bad it’s simply an event in life that gives me a choice as to want I want to do.  Life is merely one moment after another of opportunities to make a choice as to where you want to go from here.

 

We all know the age-old adage, ” When one door closes another door opens.”.  I for one am not actually a fan of that adage.  Throw the windows open!  I think that are always windows and doors open to my house so I can yet again choose.  This expression some how connotes that the door has been shut on us as opposed to being the ones doing the shutting… a bad followed by a good… Why can’t we be the ones to place the weight on how we view our existence…. I’m the one shutting the door.   I know I’m probably getting rather esoteric about my door shutting analogy but think about it, we have choice over how we view what is happening.  If “failure” isn’t an option because there isn’t something we call failure,  just simply steps towards our future… wouldn’t that make a more  joyful life?  I believe that how we respond to everything in life is a choice.  We may not have control over our subconscious thought but we do over our conscious thought.  We have the choice to either suffer or not.  That said what emotions and responses are you choosing that you may want to take on another path…?  As opposed to seeing what we haven’t down look at what you have achieved?  As opposed to seeing the glass half empty, see that there is still water in it at all? I love to find the beauty in the situation so that the harder things are not so hard at all.  And after a while you may not see anything as hard it simply is what it is without any judgement.

 

So go throw your windows open and air it all out!!

 

Energetically with love,

~Sarah