Sarah hamilton's Blog

This is where you'll find my musings on Gratitude, Inspiration, Stillness and Awe…. "Transform your thoughts, transform your life"

Moving Out of NYC June 14, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — sarahhamiltoncoaching @ 8:59 AM
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

In my mind I am a native New Yorker.  I have lived in New York City for 25 years.  I pretty much went to college here and stayed because I love it.  There was a brief sojourn to London for a couple of years but back to NYC I came.  New York was still my home.  I have lived longer here than anywhere else in my life.  That said after what’s been a long and wonderful time where NYC has protected me, made me grow and challenged me I have made the decision to move.  Move?!! you say? Yes.  I am moving up to Connecticut where my my boyfriend and family live.  I want to be closer to him and take the next step on our journey together.

Ok.  Now what’s really going on.  I realize that I at this moment in time I must walk the talk of who I am.  I also want to be straight up about my feelings which are… scared, excited, terrified, exillerated and overwhelmed (hence the exhaustion that has set in).  All that goes into moving a rich life from one state to another is A Lot!  I have moved my life before but I haven’t closed everything (bank accounts, gym memberships, utilities) down and departed. Just finding a bank is rough enough alone because of the timing of electronic bills.  I’m sad that I am leaving my beautiful garden apartment behind.  The usual question I get is, “You’re sub-letting right?” No I am letting it go!  Yes go. Also, I have been spending a ton of time with my boyfriend but when I am living close by what could happen then? (ah oh there’s that fear again!)  When I look at the fear and anxiety that comes up I know that to shift out of it one must explore the feelings, fill in the lines so to speak so that we can shift out of it.  Though while there, it isn’t always that comfortable. Meditation and the breath have been my closest companions.  And boy have I been talking it out… to myself.  If the neighbors could hear me they might be a  bit concerned.  I mean even keeping my mind straight versus it’s tangental thinking has been a chore in and of itself.  I am the list maker…. Oh by the way does anyone want a free piano?  They just need to be willing to move it out of a difficult space? No wait get back to the point!

But then I shift and think about the possibility in what I’m moving to, not away from.  Love!  What is better then that? The ultimate growth is in allowing yourself to be loved and to love in return. And if I can move away from the fear and closer to love then the lesson has been totally worth while.  I know that sounds like a cliche but as the Dalai Lama says, “My religion is kindness”  and the only thing better is love, as he would say.  Or as Don Miguel Ruiz would say.“You don’t need to justify your love, you don’t need to explain your love, you just need to practice your love. Practice creates the master.” There truly isn’t anything else in this world that is important other then love. So I sit with my uncomfortableness and fear so that I may move closer to the love that I know I have.  The greatest reminder is to be as gentle as I can with myself.

Speaking of gentle I must remember I will be close to the train so I can come back in tot the city whenever I want or need to. I’m not going far even though it may feel as such.  And importantly all of my friends I will know will remain part of  my life no matter where I live and I will be apart of theirs.  This is the next step in my growth.  We all have different phases in our lives where we can either allow the growth or stifle it.  I believe growth is a bit like molding clay and we are the clay.  We are being pushed and pulled and squished into something new but in the end we arrive at a piece of art.  I for one am all for the molding of the clay so that we become a beautiful new sculpture.

Where do you allow for the the discomfort to let yourself grow?  What kind of sculpture would you want to be? Me, I’d like to be the Venus de Milo… with arms that is.

 

Energetically,

~Sarah

 

More Brene Brown June 11, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — sarahhamiltoncoaching @ 11:40 AM
Tags: , , , , ,

I have posted about Brene Brown before and she’s remarkable!  I invite you to take a few minutes and watch her Ted Talk.  She states that we find our strength through or vulnerability and shame because when we can can express it we are the most present and creative.  Just watch and you’ll see and Love!!

 

 

 

The language we use June 7, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — sarahhamiltoncoaching @ 3:15 PM
Tags: , , , , , ,

I regularly post on Facebook and Twitter about language. My strongest coaching tool is helping my clients become aware of their self talk.   As we all know language has power and how we talk to ourselves can make or break our self-esteem.  That said, here is a list of words to become aware of in your speech.

Should:  The best thing to say about this one is, “Don’t should on yourself” When the word is used there usually is obligation places on the act on which you feel the need to follow through. Now here is a tough one… Only do the things that you want to do.  For example “I should go to work.”  Sure work is not necessarily great everyday but we want to make money to pay our bills.  Hence you want to make money so you go to work.  We get something out of everything that we do so I invite you to look at your motives and find the want in what you’re doing.  Then once you can find your want versus your should you are able to remove the obligation and guilt that comes along with the should.

Need: Listen to how often you use the word need…  When we need something we do not approach it with the same energetic strength that we would had we approached it with a want.  Again with the want 😉 We follow through with our goals when they are a want versus a need. Our obstacles block us when obligation strikes us. Look again…

But: ” I wanted to go swimming today but it was rainy and I thought twice about it.”  When you use the word but in a sentence you negate what is initially said.  So by looking at the sentence you really did not want to go swimming because it rained and you changed your mind.  In a sentence like this the but is really quite innocuous.  Though when used in a sentence like. “I thought your show was fantastic but in the second act…..” So you really didn’t think the show was fantastic. I simply invite you to look at what and how you are speaking to yourself and others.  Do you want your anabolic phrases to land on their own merit or would you rather land on the down note.

Can and Can’t: These 2 words are simple.  You are saying I choose to and I don’t choose to.  Now sometimes we are physically unable to do things and if we were able to choose we would. Like say for instance fly on our own accord. That said if you are, let’s say invited to a party it is completely ok to say you are unable to go due to a prior engagement but (and yes I just used the word but on purpose) if you can’t? No.  You are choosing to go to your prior engagement. Everything you do in life is a choice.  Be empowered with your thinking and choose how you respond.  Be the cause of your life not at the effect of it.

Again back to the shoulds, needs, can’ts and buts…. How do you want to approach life? Empowered and anabolic? To quote one of my favorite children’s poets Shel Silverstein:

 

“Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts.

Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts.

Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me…

Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.” 

 

Listen to how you think….

Energetically,

~Sarah

 

A Proposal That Gets Me Thinking… May 27, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — sarahhamiltoncoaching @ 11:03 AM
Tags: , , , ,

This phenomenal marriage proposal that’s been flying around the internet and the news has got me thinking.  Not only was I, like everyone else crying by the end, (then again I cry at Hallmark commercials) but I was flabbergasted at how much effort the boyfriend put into his proposal.   I dare you to watch it and not be moved.  On the news he said he only rehearsed it once since he and many of his friends are actors but how much planning and choreographing went into what he did for someone he loves?  That said how far are you willing to go to achieve what you love?

I used to work with high school kids and would say to them find something that you love so, that which you call work won’t feel like work at all.  The more you love something the easier it is to do.  Are you doing everything possible to achieve what it is that you want? Not everything you think you could do?  Go, Go, Go! And let’s just say it I love, Love!

Play full-out and like Issac get creative!

Energetically,

~Sarah

P.S. I just watched it again and with a huge smile on my face and tears in my eyes. 🙂
 

I Want it NOW Daddy! May 21, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — sarahhamiltoncoaching @ 8:08 AM
Tags: , , , , ,

I’m sure you all have heard the line,”I want it now, Daddy!” from the famous Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory’s colorful character, Veruca Salt…

Often times when reaching for a goal be it personal, spiritual or work related we all get a little impatient when waiting for results.  This impatience can inform us as to where we are in relation to our goal or it simply could be Veruca rearing her ugly head…

If we have faith that it, the goal will arrive and you are doing all the steps necessary, (playing full-out as in last weeks post) then place an order with the waiter and trust that it’ll show up.  You know how when you’re at a restaurant and you place an order with the waiter, you trust that it’ll be on your table within a certain amount of time.  Going after your goal is a bit like that.  Doing the work then trusting in the out coming. I mean hey, we all can get impatient about when the out come arrives… But that is usually due to not truly trusting that it will arrive so by having it arrive now! you know you’re not walking down the wrong alley. And it could be that you simply want the fruits of your labor now… No matter what it all boils down to trust.

I have written before that life, a relationship and/or a goal have no finish line if it’s in alignment with who you are. And if a job or goal doesn’t transpire it’s the beginning of something else so in reality there is no end.  Think more about that and wanting it  now! may abate a bit…

Or just start signing… It helped Veruca!

Energetically,

~Sarah

 

Playing Full Out! May 15, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — sarahhamiltoncoaching @ 9:05 AM
Tags: , , ,

I’ve been talking to my clients recently about playing full-out.  Imagine you are playing a game of kick ball…. The sun is shinning.  You have all your friends around you on your team and the away team are people you don;t know.  Are you the one standing up and cheering for each team mater as they go to kick?  Do you even cheer for the apposing team?  Are you giving %110 when it’s your time to play?  Whether you win or lose do you respond exactly the same way… With absolute Joy and passion?  Do you find a take away every time you play so that you learn something?

Or do you…..

Sit on the bench and just watch?  Do you only cheer if someone kicks a home run? Do you cheer if you win and sulk when you lose? And when it’s your time to kick you give it just what it needs to get you to first base? And at the end of it all you walk away only to repeat the same actions as before the next time you play?

These are just a few thoughts about playing full-out… They’re all applicable to life. Giving your all to everything you do with passion and joy is exciting not only for you but for those around you who witness your experience and actions.  Learning from each experience so that you can be greater in the next it such a wonderful way of living life.  I’m all for playing full-out.  And every now and then I have to ask myself, “Are you playing small?” so then I can shift to the next level of Joy.

 

So for the week I highly invite you to look at how you’re playing in your life and then Play Full-Out!

 

Kick that Ball!

~Sarah

 

 

How much are you willing to do? May 1, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — sarahhamiltoncoaching @ 10:09 AM
Tags: , , , ,

What it may look like.... I just see it!

Last thursday was a spectacular spring day here on the east coast and I spent my early morning driving around with a friend going to tag sales!  Such a fun adventure and as we drove past a house in much need of some love he saw a VW Karmann Ghia hidden way in the back of the property in a shed.  It too was in much need of some  love.  That said what he did is rather inspiring… He wanted to go and ask the owner about it and see if it was for sale!  So we drove down the drive way and got out and knocked on the door… I have to admit the excitement was rising in my tummy… I loved it! And before you say it, Yes it was very American Pickers of us and Mike and Frank would approve.  So my friend asked about it, looked closely at it, crawled on the ground with the years of dirt, examined the engine which had seized up due to years of not being driven….. All this got me thinking… How many people would be willing to get out of their car and go up to a complete strangers door in order to follow their desire, want or goal?  How many people would be willing to follow-up with calls and offers and be consumed with that one desire of acquiring their pot of gold?

Now in this story there are myriad lessons to learn but I am going to focus on just 1 today. And the question is this… How much are you willing to do in order to reach your goal? How hard are you willing to work AND just how big of a risk are you willing to take in order to reach the proverbial Emerald City? Now I often ask my clients Do you believe you are doing everything possible to complete your goal.  Which in turn, they say yes but when we get down to it they have not done everything in their power.

So much about achieving a goal is knowing that you deserve it! Completely, Utterly Deserve it! There is enough for us all to have our own piece of the pie, No matter how big a slice! Hence you deserve to work as hard as humanly possible in order to acquire it!  It makes the end result all the more sweet.  We so often stop half way through for one reason or the other… we all have done it. We make our steps towards our goal to big so we get discouraged.  Our baby steps are forgotten.  But what would happen if you kept focused on what ever your goal is so much so that there was only one thing that happened… Success.  Creating smart goals to move forward.  You know the old adage, “If at first you don’t succeed try and try again!” Now I know there are people who need to learn to actually let things go but for the most part, people lose focus or energy or… you fill in the blank, half way through.  Oh to have the energy of a teenager! You’d be unstoppable! So by creating achievable goals and not loosing focus anything is possible!

So I got excited when my friend not only stopped at a strangers house but followed up with phone calls…. Soon that beautiful Karmann Ghia will receive the love that it deserves!  I just see it!

Love and Pink Light,

~Sarah

 

Delayed Spring… April 12, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — sarahhamiltoncoaching @ 8:51 AM
Tags: , , ,

©Sarah Hamilton

Spring has been an early visitor this year and it gave us all a renewed sense of possibility after the winter. (which was really quite mild actually but still grey) It was warm and inviting and a breath of fresh air! But just as soon as it arrived it departed. So this got me thinking, which in and of itself it not rare at all… When have you been working towards a goal and seen the competition in sight only to have it waylaid? When this happens what do you do?  Work harder all the while allowing the delay to be what it is? Get frustrated and start to struggle?

How can you find the opportunity in the delay? Take your time life is not a race.  Find the joy in the delay all the while working harder towards reaching your goal.

When you focus on Joy you have more Joy to focus on! Bring on Spring!

Energetically,

~Sarah

 

The Most Important Part of a Conversation April 9, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — sarahhamiltoncoaching @ 10:40 AM
Tags: , , ,

I was chatting with a friend this morning about something I tweeted the other day, “The only thing one has to do in a conversation is listen.” He disagreed.  Which led me to ask why and we talked.  His belief is that it is important, by not the Only thing or there would be no exchange of ideas.  Which is very true.  So I was led to clarify myself…. Listening is the most important part of a conversation.

There is an expression that we have 2 eyes, 2 ears and 1 mouth so we can use our ears twice as much as our mouth.  As a life coach we are taught to listen.  Hearing what and how our clients are talking.  We hear what they are saying not what we think they are saying.  I have learned that there are 3 levels of listening. Subjective, Objective and Intuitive:

Level 1) Subjective listening

Listening is based on the agenda of needs of the listener.  Whatever is said is related back to the listener.

Client: “I had the toughest time trying to get myself up a half hour earlier to take my morning walk.”
Coach: (Answering based on how the coach would handle the situation) “You just have to force yourself.  When I have something to do that I don’t want to do I just remember the Nike commercial, ‘Just do it’”

Level 2) Objective Listening

The listener is completely focused on the person who is speaking.  There are no thoughts about how any of the information relates personally to the listener.  This level is very effective but doesn’t get to the heart of the matter.

Client: “I had the toughest time trying to get myself up a half hour earlier to take my morning walk.”
Coach: You had a struggle but you made it. Congratulations!

Level 3) Intuitive Listening

The listener is listening to all sensory components and intuitively connecting to the speaker’s real message.  The listener is paying attention to not only what the speaker is saying but also to the speaker’s tone of voice, energy level, feelings, etc.  The listener is also paying attention to what is NOT being said.  This is the most powerful form of listening and allows the listener to really connect with the speaker.

Client: “I had the toughest time trying to get myself up a half hour earlier to take my morning walk.”
Coach: (Answers after feeling, without much thinking.)  It sounds like you really want to do this, but are so exhausted that you find it to be very challenging and maybe even a little frustrating.

I have learned that the most effective kind of listening is a combination of levels 2 and 3, mixed with effective open-ended questions.  So use your ears and eyes to hear what the person is saying and how the person is speaking.   It can open up a whole new world when  you actually hear someone and not what you think you are hearing. So again…. Listening is the Most important part of a conversati0n.

Energetically,

~Sarah

 

What are the 2 main contributors to a relationships success! February 24, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — sarahhamiltoncoaching @ 10:07 AM
Tags: , , , , ,

It has taken me a long time to get to this point in relationships…  Like every woman I have had my fair share of learning situations.  I have had some great and some not so great but I have been blessed to take away some wonderful little nuggets of learning from every partnering.  I have had everything from the boyfriend who cheated so atrociously that he had a child and even married another woman while we were together. To what I have now… each day is so wonderful that I am left breathless by his soulful generosity to everyone… I love that I have taken every opportunity to learn something of what I have wanted verses focusing on the “bad” and in turn creating an obstacle in my path. Nothing could be better than learning how to love myself more and more with each opportunity.  Knowing that what I am feeling is valuable yet Everyone learns and communicates differently and figuring out how your partner does that is so important in the longevity of a relationship. All the while not forgetting the love you have for yourself.  I can’t stress enough that the love of your life starts with you!

What are the 2 main contributors to a relationships success?  It’s when you love yourself unconditionally and when you have the ability to stay in the moment.  These are the 2 main relationship issues that can catch us up if they aren’t being acknowledged . When you notice that you are stuck in an unhealthy pattern, it tends to be one or both of these 2 theories that aren’t being supported. So then you can ask yourself, if any of the following of my 10 Steps aren’t being observed, So then you can come back to love and step away from fear and breathe into the moment. Today I am only going to talk about the first tenant. You’ll have to get me E-book to read the rest!

 

1) Continue to foster the love for yourself. : By releasing judgment of yourself and others.

For when you can love yourself, flaws and all you can love your partner more completely for who they are. I think that a definition is in order, “to judge: [verb] to form an opinion or conclusion about.” That said a judgment is about a connection to the outcome, about making another person wrong and you correct. This now stated the question remains… How do you release judgment in order to allow things to be exactly what they are? One way might be to examine where the judgment comes from. What value is important to you that is being threatened? This can definitely all be a challenge but by looking at the 10 steps you are given an outline. As don Miguel Ruiz states , ”The real us is pure love; we are Life”

 

Love and Pink Light

~Sarah